Hope in the Midst of Her Tears

The late afternoon August rain ushered Linda P. into the Ironbound Emergency Shelter but not before it drenched her totally. Upon closer examination, I saw that her tears contributed in large part to the moisture on her face. Once she was able to relax and was assured that she was welcome at IES, only then did she wipe away her tears and began to recount the last 24 hours of her life. She told the story of waking up with a home then told she was no longer allowed to live there. In addition to the concern about where she would live came the shame surrounding her new homelessness. Having nowhere to turn, she found herself in the shelter system. According to Ms. Linda, the shelter she was referred to was in such deplorable condition and drug infested that she was prepared to sleep in the park. As she prepared to leave the first shelter, a kind person told her about the Ironbound Emergency Shelter. In the midst of her tears, her shame and now the rain, Ms. Linda pressed her way to IES. Once here, she hit the ground early every morning in her quest to find an apartment of her very own. Not only was she driven to acquire her own place, she was very active in helping other residents in their search. Whatever information she obtained, she passed it on to whoever would listen. She was also very active in the Women's Circle Group run by St. Bridget's. On September 16, 2005, after three weeks and a day at IES, Ms. Linda moved into her own apartment. She still attends the Women's Circle Group once a week.

Family Service League

Since Tara was a little girl, she had always yearned for a child. At age 42, she believed time and opportunity might be running out. When she learned that she and her husband were expecting their first child, she was delighted to see her childhood hopes and dreams finally becoming realized. She hoped her husband would feel the same way about the pregnancy. However, with news of the pregnancy, her partner's reactions abruptly became the opposite of what she had hoped for. He bacame verbally abusive towards her. The day he first struck her, she was plunged into a deep depression about the future of her marriage and her child. How could she bring a child into a violent home?

File with anxiety and fear, Tara began having premature contractions. One afternoon in August, her sister rushed her to a walk-in clinic for low-income families. She followed the doctor's advice to a tee, but her efforts were in vain. Three days after visiting the clinic, she again went into premature labor. And this time, there was nothing the doctors at the clinic could do. The baby she had hoped for was gone. She was so depressed, she could barely function.

When Tara came to Family Service League, she was paralyzed by fear, depression, and grief. Through counseling, she was able to begin to grieve the loss of her child and to think through her options. Last month, Tara moved in with her sister and is initiating divorce proceedings. She named the child she lost and held a memorial service for her, safeguarding in a special keepsake box the things that remind her of the child she thought she would have.

Tara is still grieving for the lass of her child, but she is learning new coping skills. She has come to the decision herself that her life will be better without her abusive husband, even if it means waiting to try to have another child. With professional help, she is lifting herself out of depression and becoming independent. While she still feeels profound loss, Tara feels for the the first time in months that she has much of her life ahead of her, and much to look forward to.

Family Day Nursery School

Three-year old Jacob has been in the United States for two weeks. His parents are Russian Jews who speak no English but, after eight years of waiting for their names to come up, have been granted permanent visas. Immediately, both parents were enrolled in English as a Second Language classes. But without income, where could Jacob go during class, and while his parents looked for jobs and an apartment?

When Family Day Nursery School heard about Jacob, we made a space available to him full-day without a fee until his family could get on their feet. The first day, Jacob was acting out terribly. He would bang his head and scream, while his teachers gently rocked him, fed him, and tended to his needs. By his third day, he was a different child. Now knowing he could trust the loving and nurturing adults at Family Day, he opened up. He loves being at Family Day. He loves art in particular, sitting with great focus to work on each painting or drawing. He proudly displays the American Flag he painted and tries to recite the “Pledge of Allegiance.”

Jacob's parents are now much more settled. His father has found temporary work at a local office, and his mother is working on her English and job readiness skills. Jacob is making friends and feels a part of a community. His parents are now contributing a symbolic amount to Jacob's schooling. When they are able to, financially, they will pay the reduced fee for Jacob. Until then, Jacob is thriving and growing in the school on a scholarship.

He is proud to be in the class, and Family Day Nursery School is proud to have him.

Girl Scouts - Positive Power

“Positive Power” is a workshop that is delivered weekly over several weeks, and generally the participants build trust and expand in discussion as the weeks go by. During a presentation of the “Positive Power” program (3^rd or 4^th week) with a group of pre-teen girls, the facilitator noted that one girl had gotten extremely quiet. The group was discussing relationships with boys, dating, setting personal limits, and sexual experimentation. Toward the end the the session the girl seemed to withdraw even more and the facilitator noted that she seemed to by crying. She approached her as the girls were leaving and, with a staff person asked if she wanted to talk privately. At first the girl was reluctant but soon agreed. She revealed to the facilitator that she had been sexually abused by a family member in the past. She had never told anyone and had felt ashamed and blamed herself for this. The facilitator and staff spent some time with her and the staff member counseled her over the next several days. They were able to convince her to get professional counseling, and reported the matter to DYFS. Since the family member did not live with the child no placement was required; however, the girl benefited from receiving assistance to cope with the earlier experience. She continued participating in her Girl Scout group and increased her level of verbal expression.

Rachel is an 8th grader who for the last 2 years has demonstrated outstanding leadership skills. She is president of the Teen Planning Board for the Girl Scout Council, achieved her Silver Award last year by fostering cats until they are able to be adopted, and volunteers most weekends assisting in programs that the Girl Scouts are running for younger girls. This has included, this year, camp clean up, Halloween Haunted House, Ovalfest, sewing workshops, Zink the Zebra diversity workshops, and more. This year she is actively working to recruit additional girls to the Teen Planning Board in order to get broader representation from around the council. For a 13 year old, her leadership skills are extraordinary.

Catholic Charities - St. Jude's Transitional Housing

One family that we have assisted since August 2004 in the St. Jude's Transitional Housing program is the Rodriguez family. The St. Jude's Transitional Housing Program is a Catholic Charities Archdiocese of Newark Family Services program which provides up to 18 months of residential services to intact homeless families. Each unit houses up to two parents and up to four children. Maryann and her 3 children had been evicted from their apartment after Maryann's husband left them. The child support and alimony that she was receiving was not enough to pay the rent.

Shortly after Maryann entered our program she was able to find a job at Bayada Nurses as a Nurses Aide. She has been employed for a year now. That year has been tough for Maryann. In December 2004 the family was involved in an automobile accident where their vehicle was stopped at a traffic light and another vehicle hit them. Maryann applied for temporary disability because of back and neck injuries. She was denied because she hadn't been on the job long enough. For four months she had to attend physical therapy 3 times a week. The loss of income for those months was a major set back for the family.

We have assisted her with budgeting strategies and taught her how to cut back on unneeded expenses. We have provided a fully furnished three-bedroom townhouse for the Rodriguez family to stay in for 18 months, we have provided emergency food assistance because she was cut off from food stamps. Now Maryann needs an operation because she has uterine fibroids. She cannot afford to have the operation at this time because she was already on a four-month medical leave this year after the car accident. She does not have enough work time in this year to be entitled to disability and she also may lose her job. Her decision is to wait until January 2006 to have the surgery. Throughout her stay at St. Jude's we have provided supportive counseling to Maryann. We are encouraging her to think carefully about her decision to postpone surgery and have reassured her that we can offer her an extension in the program that might ease her stress regarding her financial and job situation.

Northwest Essex Community Healthcare Network

Jose, a resident of Bloomfield and a graduate of Bloomfield High School has achieved success with help of United Way Dollars. He was referred to Northwest Essex Community Healthcare Network, Inc. located at 83 Walnut Street in Montclair, by the local Division of Vocational Rehabilitation in Newark.

Northwest Essex Community Healthcare assist Jose with Vocational Assessment, Work Adjustment Training, Job Readiness Skills Training, Counseling, Job Placement, Job Coaching, and Follow-Along to promote job retention.

Jose completed two years of employment where he was recently promoted from Bagger to the position of Customer Service in the Seafood Department at Brookdale Shop-Rite, “You Supermarket with a Heart,” located at 1409 Broad Street in Bloomfield.

Thanks to the United Way Dollars of Bloomfield for enabling a Bloomfield resident for becoming a productive and independent member of society. Your united Way dollars help to offset the ever-increasing cost of providing these valued services.

Northwest Essex Community Healthcare Network 

Ms. T. was raised by her mother and stepfather; she suffered some childhood traumas related to her stepfather's alcoholism and the domestic violence which it generated. She never married and had no children.

She managed to graduate from Bloomfield High School, find work, and support herself until her layoff with little support from her dysfunctional family. However, she suffered from low self-esteem and had few social contacts outside of her employment.

When her factory employer closed its doors, she felt her life had in effect ended and she would never be able to find meaningful work again and she became increasingly isolated and depressed in her little apartment in Bloomfield, occasionally abusing alcohol to help her cope with her feelings of hopelessness; until a friend told her about NECHN where she could be treated even without insurance coverage.

Initially Ms. T. was seen for individual therapy once weekly by a NECHN clinician, who referred her to our agency psychiatrist, who recommended she start taking antidepressant medication, following her comprehensive psychiatric evaluation.

After some months of treatment with cognitive/behavioral therapy and psychiatric drug management, Ms. T's mood stabilized, she was able to stop abusing alcohol and begin planning for a new future, which included a return to gainful activity.

Ms. T. was referred to the Division of Vocational and Rehabilitation (DVR) by her therapist for evaluation and possible retraining, where she did receive some assistance with retraining as a medical biller.

Presently she remains employed, and is active in the community helping her sister raise her two nephews. She continues to be treated at NECHN with psychiatric medication management and individual therapy, which she credits with “helping me get my life back so I can help others and my family”.

We received a call from Mrs.Lakeba Bana-Oliva, who needed help for her family.  Sgt. Sergio Oliva, her husband, is stationed in Iraq, and with her husband overseas, and with 4, the youngest a 4 months old, a 3 1/2 year old, a five year old and a 13 year old she is having a hard time making ends meet.
   
Ms. Salema Saleh, from our USO Colin L. Powell Center, went into high gear and between toys, food, clothes, and a large turkey for Christmas dinner, went with a loaded truck and high spirits to the residence of Lakeba and brought great cheer to the family.  We will continue to help this family as needed.